Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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