Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
