If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
