I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
