I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
