I am in a vortex of obligation.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
