Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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