my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
