Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.