Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
