If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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