Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
