Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
