In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
