I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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