How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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