I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Houston, we have a blender
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
