im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
