Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
