Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

how can u be prego again

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(706): View more from Georgia

yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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(248): View more from Michigan

Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke

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(914): View more from New York

you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

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(813): View more from Florida

Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

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(707): View more from California

My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her

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(512): View more from Texas

her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"

(1-512): View more from Texas

you motherfucker

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes

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(607): View more from New York

This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.

(1-607): View more from New York

Zombies?

(607): View more from New York

Zombies.

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