I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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