I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
