I need help removing her.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
