I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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