I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's shark week go big or go home
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
