all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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