omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize