how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
