Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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