Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
