After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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