Someone shit on the floor
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
