Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
