i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
