Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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