also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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