I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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