She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
