I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
