i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
