If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
