you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
