Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize