I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
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Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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