she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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