omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
