he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
