is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
