the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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