you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
