so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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