So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
barbara walters just said penis...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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