sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
