Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We just shotgunned beers for America
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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