I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
