Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
