Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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