is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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