You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
