Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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