1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
